Knowing When To Release

“Maybe you’re not healing because you’re trying to be who you were before the trauma. That person doesn’t exist anymore. Because there’s a new you trying to be born, breathe life into that new person.” (I couldn’t find the original source of this quotation.)

I was working with a client whose very dear husband had died in the not-so-distant past. During the course of our conversation, I mentioned how well adjusted she seemed to be, and how she exuded such joy. She told me that she discovered the quotation above, and with deep work around grief, she realized that a “new her” was being born after the death of her spouse. She needed to release the person she was as a wife and make decisions for this new person being born.

My client holds the memories of her spouse, and she greatly appreciates the time that they had together. But she had to release the person she was in order to breathe life into the person she was becoming.

She is finding joy and excitement about the current direction towards her future. Her decisions are very different than what she would have made if her husband were still alive. She is empowered.

To be empowered, you need to know—and be willing to release—that which no longer serves you.

In another example, I have a friend who struggled with her desire to retire. She held the belief that retirement was not acceptable for her. We explored where those beliefs came from, and she understood that retirement was not something her family embraced. She needed to reframe her concept about what it was to be retired.

One day she called to say she realized she didn’t want to retire; she wanted to “rewire.” Her connections were frayed and not feeding her the energy she needed to continue working.

However, by rewiring, she was able to get excited about future projects and possibilities. She was then ready to release her job and breathe life into her new being.

Is it time for you to explore what you need to release in your life? Where are the obstructions that keep you from moving forward? Are you paying attention to the words you are telling yourself about who you are and what you can accomplish?

An empowered life is positive, joyful, and strong. Being empowered is having the strength to make decisions about what is in your own highest and best good.

Below is a very powerful ritual for releasing old connections.


Ritual – Personal Cleansing and Energy Release

The purpose of this ritual is to release old energy and attachments. I suggest you do this ritual during the day and leave time for a nap at the end. It’s best not to do it before retiring for the night.

Light a candle and draw a bath. Use a flat stone or implement to signify cutting any web-like attachments from people or situations. Start with the intention that you are releasing all attachments and people in your life. However, know that at the end of the ritual those that love and support you will reattach and stay in your life. Those who are not in your highest good will be released.

Go over your body with the stone from the top of your head down to your toes while repeating, “I release all cords.” Be as thorough as possible. Any places you miss (like your back) will be cleared because your intention will be clear and your guides will assist you.

Images of people and scenes may come up; some may be unexpected or forgotten. Just let them pass like a slide show.

Stay in the bathtub as you drain the water so that you don’t track the psychic “gunk” in your living space. Turn the shower on and wash from head to toe. Invite healthy re-attachments by saying, “I invite only those who love and support me to re-attach to my heart and soul.”

Very often people tell me the water actually feels oily or dirty at the end of the bath and are very happy to take the shower. It’s common to feel very tired at the end of the ritual, and I suggest taking a nap rather than going to bed for the night.

The mind can be tricky and try to take you back to the negative energy that you have already released through the ritual. If you find yourself thinking about what you have already removed through the ritual, say the word “release” and brush the thought away. In the beginning you may have to say this numerous times a day, but eventually you will cease to give energy to those negative thoughts and they will seldom come up. Even if the thoughts do come up after you think you have banished them, keep saying “release.”

Let me know how this ritual works for you.