Embrace Your Own Story

One of the most familiar phrases I hear as a coach is, ”I was always told . . .” or “made to believe . . .” [fill in the blank]. And that remembered conversation or belief is almost always negative and disempowering.

When we believe the critical voices from the past we are making a choice to limit ourselves. Our memories are in the past, we are now living in the present, and we’re making decisions that affect our future.

When you were a child, your circumstances and care givers were the authors of your story. You weren’t in a position to negate their claims about you or the world. And they were often passing along their wounds from childhood and what had been told to them.

If you are still responding to those messages from the past, I invite you to change your story. The exercises here are for those of you who want to create a true present to prepare for the future you want to create.

1. Write down only your positive traits or accomplishments. Only the positive. For example, maybe you are a kind person, or you were the first in your family to finish high school, or you successfully got yourself out of a difficult relationship. Write those down.

2. Ask a trusted friend to help you with the list. Embrace that this is who you are in the present. Only the positive traits and accomplishments.

3. Write a story about how those positive traits and accomplishments will play in your future.

4. When the negative screams that you are less than, write down that trait and then burn it. It is no longer you.

It’s up to us if we chose to limit ourselves or, alternatively, to embrace our best self and acknowledge that we’ve come a long way from the negativity of the past.

Sometimes it’s helpful to enlist a coach to assist in making changes. I’m here to help.