Have you let others define who you are? Many of us hold onto negative childhood experiences that keep us back from our true self. We often don’t hear, or believe, the compliments or praise from others because old stories fill so much space that we don’t allow room for new stories to develop.
When parents, siblings or others tell a young person they are not smart, pretty, or athletic the child frequently carries those stories forward into adult life. The growing child has to overcome the negative messages or becomes severed from a future of positive possibilities.
RITUAL: Listen and pay attention to the messages you give yourself in the course of the day. Do you say things like, “I’m so dumb,” or “or “I’m so fat,” or I can’t . . .” Write down your “self” messages and think about the earliest time you heard each of these messages. Whatever the circumstances at that time, and whoever you were at that time is no longer valid for who you are now.
Now, think about your close friends and relationships. Have you heard (and possibly ignored) their words of praise or support? Let the praise of others help to create a new definition of who you are, and perhaps, change your story. Now, write down every positive thing you’ve heard about yourself, even if you didn’t believe them. On 3×5 cards write each positive trait or skill separately and spread the cards around where you will see them: on the bathroom mirror, next to the computer, in your car, and in the kitchen. Any place where you will see a positive message and be reminded of who you really are.
You are who they say you are, not who you were as a small child. Own the real adult you, not the child you’ve outgrown.
You are welcome to contact me for life coaching support through your changes.
