Are you happy with your life? If not, you need to evaluate your options. It could be a temporary situation where circumstances will change on its own or it could be that nothing will be different until and unless you decide to change. Below are 5 steps to change your life. Good luck!
1. Acknowledge the truth of your situation.When you are in a situation that makes you feel miserable it’s time to take a good hard look and determine what needs to change. You may not be responsible for the situation where you are treated unfairly by a boss or betrayed by a loved one, but you are responsible for staying in the situation if it is making you feel miserable.
2. Determine if the situation is salvageable, or if you have to create something new and different. Let me be clear, if you are being abused it is NOT your fault. Get away and get out of the situation.
In non-abusive, but unsatisfactory circumstances, be honest with yourself and look at how your attitude contributes to the situation. Are you sharing gossip with others who are unhappy and creating dissatisfaction? Are you arguing with your partner rather than having a conversation? Are you approachable? Write down the things you can change about yourself that will contribute to greater satisfaction.
3. Accept that others are as they are and you cannot change them but you can change your reaction to them. You can ask your partner to make changes and ask what changes your partner would like for you to make in turn. Changes may not happen, but an effort will have been made and your willingness to consider changing may make a richer relationship.
It’s more difficult to ask a boss or co-worker to make changes and focusing on wishing they would change is unproductive and will only add to your frustration. Try to see how you can change your environment. Listen to yourself and how you are responding to the situation. Try not to take criticism personally. Strategize (without gossiping and complaining) with a co-worker who is not emotionally involved as to what you could do differently.
4. Explore alternatives – don’t keep doing what doesn’t work and expect it to change. If the job or relationship doesn’t work it’s time to move on. Get your resume up to date and start networking to find out what’s out there. The longer you stay in a job you don’t like the more discouraged you will become.
If it’s your relationship that has to end, do it cleanly and completely. Going back and forth sends mixed messages and extends the pain for both of you.
5. Embrace yourself – believe that you deserve the best. Change can be difficult and demoralizing, so be gentle with yourself. Find allies to help you. Be willing to get professional legal or emotional help. You become empowered when you take the first step to help yourself improve your difficulty. Change takes time. You evolved over a period of time and changes will take a period of time as well.
You are welcome to contact me for life coaching support through your changes.